Parental Alienation and the damage done.

What is parental alienation?

Parental alienation refers to a situation where a child is manipulated or coerced into harbouring unjustified hostility towards one of their parents, typically as a result of ongoing conflict between the parents.

This can occur in the context of a separation or divorce, where one parent may try to turn the child against the other parent in order to gain custody or control or when Co-parenting breaks down.

Parental alienation can take many forms, including:

1. Negative talk or behaviour towards the other parent in the presence of the child.
2. Limiting contact or access to the other parent.
3. Making false allegations of abuse or neglect against the other parent.
4. Influencing the child's beliefs or feelings about the other parent through manipulation or coercion.

Parental alienation can have negative effects on the child's emotional and psychological well-being, as well as on their relationship with the other parent. It can also lead to legal and custody disputes between the parents.

The damage of parental alienation. 

Parental alienation can have negative consequences for the child involved, both in the short and long term. Some potential consequences of parental alienation include:

1. Emotional distress: Children who are subjected to parental alienation may experience feelings of confusion, anxiety, and depression, as well as a loss of trust in their parents.

2. Difficulty with relationships: Parental alienation can affect a child's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with others, as they may struggle with trust and attachment issues.

3. Negative self-esteem: Children who are subjected to parental alienation may internalize negative messages about themselves and the rejected parent, which can lead to low self-esteem and self-worth.

4.Identity issues: Children may struggle with their sense of identity and self-concept when subjected to parental alienation, as they may feel torn between two conflicting views of their parents.

5. Legal issues: Parental alienation can lead to legal disputes and custody battles between parents, which can be stressful and traumatic for children.

It's important for parents to prioritise their children's well-being and to avoid engaging in behaviors that could be seen as parental alienation.

If a child is experiencing parental alienation, they may benefit from the help of a mental health professional to address the emotional and psychological impact of the situation.

Who would alienate their child from a parent? 

Anecdotal evidence informs that certain personality types that are more likely to lack empathy, could be more likely to contribute to the dynamics of parental alienation (such as borderline or narcissistic abuse). 

Studies have explored the association between high-conflict divorce and personality traits or disorders that might contribute to parental alienation dynamics.  These studies suggest that individuals with BPD or NPD traits may be more likely to engage in behaviors associated with parental alienation.

However, it's crucial to note that not all individuals with these disorders or traits engage in parental alienation, and not all cases of parental alienation involve individuals with BPD or NPD. The link between parental alienation and specific personality types or disorders is limited.

What is clear, the parent or parents will likely be emotionally immature.

It's essential and sensible to approach each case individually and consider various factors that contribute to the dynamics of parental alienation.

These may include the history of conflict between the parents, the quality of the parent-child relationships, and other situational factors that can influence the behaviour of both parents.

Long-term effects: When the child is now an adult. 

1. Difficulty forming trusting relationships: Parental alienation can create a lasting impact on a child's ability to trust others, as they may develop a heightened skepticism and wariness of forming close relationships due to their experiences of betrayal and manipulation.

2. Inter-generational transmission: If children who experienced parental alienation become parents themselves, they may unintentionally perpetuate similar patterns of alienation within their own families, leading to a cycle of inter-generational transmission of this harmful behaviour.

3. Emotional regulation challenges: Children who have been subjected to parental alienation may struggle with emotional regulation throughout their lives, finding it challenging to express and manage their emotions in a healthy and adaptive manner.

4. Impact on mental health: Parental alienation can increase the risk of developing mental health issues in adulthood, such as anxiety, chronic depression, addiction, and even personality disorders, as the long-lasting effects of the alienation experience continue to impact their psychological well-being.

5. Long-term family estrangement: In some cases, the effects of parental alienation can lead to permanent family estrangement, where the relationship between the child and the targeted parent may remain damaged or severed well into adulthood, impacting their sense of family connection and support.

It's important to note that the effects of parental alienation can vary from person to person, and these long-term consequences are not a given, nor universal.

Their will very likely come a time when the person who was once a child will start to question how they were parented. 

Some individuals may be more resilient and able to recover from the alienation experience, while others may struggle with these challenges throughout their lives.

Bibliography

Kelly, J. B., & Johnston, J. R. (2001). The alienated child: A reformulation of parental alienation syndrome. Family Court Review, 39(3), 249-266.

Baker, A. J. L. (2017). The long-term effects of parental alienation on adult children: A qualitative research study. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 58(1), 1-21.

Warshak, R. A. (2017). Ten parental alienation fallacies that compromise decisions in court and in therapy. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 48(2), 98-107.

Bone, J. M., & Walsh, M. R. (2019). Parental alienation and the ethical responsibilities of mental health professionals. Ethics & Behavior, 29(5), 365-385.

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