Self-righteous narcissism

Self-Righteous Narcissism.

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Self-righteous narcissism refers to a psychological state in which an individual has an inflated sense of self-importance, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others, combined with an overbearing sense of moral superiority.

A self-righteous narcissist may believe that they are morally superior to others and that their beliefs and opinions are the only correct ones.

They may judge and criticise others harshly for not adhering to their standards, and may feel justified in doing so because they believe they are upholding a higher moral code.

Narcissistic supply comes from validation from people who agree with them which makes them feel superior. 

Narcissistic supply refers to the emotional energy or validation that the narcissist will seek from others to reinforce their self-esteem and sense of superiority.

It encompasses various forms of attention, admiration, and recognition that self-righteous narcissists crave to maintain their inflated self-image.

One of the primary sources of narcissistic supply is validation from people who agree with them. Narcissists have an excessive need for admiration and affirmation, and they seek out individuals who will provide unwavering support and agreement.

When they encounter people who reinforce their beliefs, opinions, and actions, it bolsters their sense of self-importance and superiority.

Self righteous narcissists actively seek individuals or forums who will validate their opinions, ideas, and behaviours without question.

These individuals serve as an audience that admires and agrees with the narcissist's viewpoints, further boosting their self-esteem.

The validation from people who agree with them provides narcissists with a constant supply of positive feedback. This reinforcement elevates their self-worth and reaffirms their conviction that they are special, exceptional, and deserving of admiration.

This type of narcissism can be especially difficult because the individual may not recognise their own flaws or mistakes, as they believe they are always in the right.

They may also have a difficult time understanding and accepting criticism, as it challenges their sense of superiority.

This sense of superiority is crucial for maintaining their fragile self-esteem and warding off feelings of inadequacy.

Narcissists become emotionally dependent on the validation they receive from others who agree with them.

This dependency fuels their constant need for attention and admiration, as they fear losing their sense of superiority and self-worth without it.

Control and manipulation.

Narcissists often use their ability to attract and manipulate people who agree with them as a means of controlling their environment. They surround themselves with a circle of supporters who reinforce their narcissistic tendencies and enable their behaviours.

Challenging a self-righteous narcissist can provoke a range of reactions and tactics as they attempt to protect their fragile ego and maintain their sense of superiority. They may become on the recieving end of narcissistic abuse. 

Here are some common responses you might encounter when challenging a narcissist when you're in a toxic relationship, or they are your colleague or part of the same peer group. 

1. Defensiveness: When confronted with a challenge to their self-righteousness, narcissists often respond with defensiveness. They may become argumentative, deny any wrongdoing, or deflect blame onto others. They may refuse to acknowledge any faults or mistakes, defending their actions adamantly.
2. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists. They may distort or manipulate the truth to make you doubt your own perceptions, memory, or sanity. By making you question yourself, they aim to maintain control and undermine your credibility.
3. Personal Attacks: Narcissists may resort to personal attacks when challenged. They might insult or belittle you, criticise your character or abilities, or dredge up past mistakes to deflect attention from the issue at hand. This tactic is intended to undermine your confidence and divert the focus away from their own shortcomings.
4. Manipulation and Distortion: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating situations and distorting information to suit their narrative. They may twist your words, reinterpret events, or selectively present information to make themselves appear more favourable or to invalidate your perspective.
5. Stonewalling or Silent Treatment: In some cases, narcissists may employ stonewalling or the silent treatment as discussed in a previous article which explores why a narcissist will ignore you. They employ this strategy as a way to control the situation and punish you for challenging their self-righteousness. They may refuse to engage in further discussion or cut off communication entirely, leaving you feeling frustrated and invalidated.
6. Triangulation: Narcissists may attempt to involve third parties in the conflict to gain support and reinforce their position. They might seek allies who will take their side or spread rumors to tarnish your reputation. By triangulating others, they create a divide and conquer strategy to maintain control and undermine your credibility.
7. Projecting Blame: Instead of accepting responsibility for their actions, narcissists often project their own flaws, mistakes, or negative traits onto others. They may accuse you of the very behaviours they engage in, attempting to shift blame and deflect attention from their own shortcomings.

When it comes to self-righteous narcissism online, platforms like Twitter can provide a fertile ground for their defensive and attacking tactics.

Here's how it might play out:

1. Aggressive Responses: A self-righteous narcissist on Twitter may respond to challenges with aggressive and confrontational language. They might use capital letters, exclamation marks, or derogatory terms to assert dominance and intimidate others.
2. Public Shaming and Humiliation: Narcissists may attempt to publicly shame and humiliate those who challenge them online. They might tag others in their responses, seeking support from their followers or engaging in a form of group intimidation. They may use sarcastic or condescending remarks to belittle and undermine their opponents.
3. Strawman Arguments: A self-righteous narcissist may twist the arguments or positions of their challengers, creating a strawman to attack. They might deliberately misinterpret or misrepresent their opponent's statements to make them appear foolish or extreme. This tactic is used to shift the focus away from the original challenge and to portray themselves as the rational and superior party.
4. Blocking and Ignoring: Narcissists may resort to blocking or ignoring those who challenge them online. This tactic allows them to maintain control over their online presence by silencing opposing viewpoints. They may also use this strategy to dismiss the credibility and importance of their challengers.
5. Manipulative Influencing: Narcissists may attempt to rally their followers and manipulate public opinion to their advantage. They might engage in tactics such as selective sharing of information, cherry-picking supportive comments, or employing emotional appeals to garner sympathy and support. By framing the narrative in their favor, they aim to discredit their challengers and maintain their online image.
6. Mob Mentality: In some cases, a self-righteous narcissist may incite or encourage their followers to engage in harassment or pile-on attacks against those who challenge them. This mob mentality can create an intimidating and hostile environment online, with the narcissist at the center orchestrating or fueling the negative behavior.
7. Reputation Smearing: Narcissists may resort to spreading rumors, making false accusations, or engaging in character assassination to undermine the credibility and reputation of their challengers.

Can a self righteous narcissist know they are a self righteous narcissist?

In many cases, self-righteous narcissists are unaware of their own narcissistic tendencies. Their inflated sense of self-importance, coupled with a lack of self-reflection and empathy, often prevents them from recognising or acknowledging their own behaviour.

Self-awareness is a key factor in recognising and acknowledging narcissistic traits or behaviours. However, narcissists tend to have a distorted self-perception that protects their fragile ego.

They often perceive themselves as superior, entitled, and justified in their actions, which can make it difficult for them to recognise their own self-righteousness. They are more likely to move from discourse to blame on the turn of a sixpence.

Moreover, narcissists may resist any attempts to confront or challenge their behaviour, as they view criticism as a threat to their self-image, therefore engage in manipulative tactics we discussed earlier, to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This defensive response further reinforces their belief in their own righteousness and superiority.

It's worth noting that there can be variations. Some narcissists may possess a certain level of self-awareness and recognise their own tendencies, while others may be completely oblivious to their behaviours.

However, even if a self-righteous narcissist becomes aware of their own narcissistic traits, it does not necessarily mean they will be motivated to change.

Narcissistic individuals often resist therapy or personal growth because they fundamentally believe they are superior and that any flaws lie with others.

Genuine change typically requires a significant shift in mindset and a willingness to introspect and seek professional help.

In summary, while some self-righteous narcissists may possess a degree of self-awareness, many remain unaware or unwilling to acknowledge their own narcissistic tendencies due to the defensive nature of their disorder.

Overall, self-righteous narcissism can lead to a lack of meaningful relationships and a tendency to isolate oneself, as others may not want to be around someone who they feel judged by.

It can also lead to a lack of personal growth, as the individual may not be open to learning from their mistakes or considering other perspectives.

Harley Street Counselling and Training 2023

2025 edit. 

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